


Desperate

by SexuallyMonsterous (Alli_Bialystock)



Series: Tumblr Prompts [4]
Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5185907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alli_Bialystock/pseuds/SexuallyMonsterous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has already seen too many desperate people in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate

**Author's Note:**

> Another Tumblr prompt that came out, like, almost inappropriately sad.

Jared had seen a lot of desperate people in his life.

Jared had seen the desperation in his mother’s eyes when the doctors told her she was terminal. He had seen it in the empty beer bottles scattered across his uncle’s table. He had seen it in the handful of pills in his foster brother’s hand.

And now he was seeing it on Richard’s face.

He was terrified.

“Richard? Where are you going?”

Richard jumped and looked back at Jared. He was standing by the door and clutching his bag tightly. Jared noticed that he wasn’t holding his house keys.

“Um… Nowhere. I’m just…” Richard ran an agitated hand over his face. “Don’t worry about it, Jared. Go back to bed.”

“No thank you. I couldn’t sleep.” Jared pointed at the messenger bag. “Why do you have that?”

“Just… because.”

Jared frowned. “Richard… Is this because of what happened with Raviga?”

Richard huffed in frustration. “Okay, fine. So what if it is?”

Jared slowly edged closer. “Richard. I know that you’re frustrated, but…”

“I’m not fucking frustrated, Jared!” Richard’s voice cracked. “I’m just done, okay? I’m just fucking tired. I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know. But it’ll be okay. We can fix it.”

Richard almost laughed. “How?! How are we going to fix anything? I just got kicked out of my own fucking company! There’s nothing to be fixed anymore!”

Jared continued to shuffle forward, approaching Richard the same way he approached a nervous finch. “I know that things seem hopeless right now,” he murmured. “I understand. You’ve been doing nothing but fighting for this company and now you’re faced with this. It’s a lot to take in. It’s a lot to deal with.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Richard snapped.

“But,” Jared continued quietly, “you’re not dealing with it alone. All of us are here for you and all of us are willing to fight through this with you. You don’t have to carry this all on your shoulders.”

“It’s not like I can just push it off on you guys, though,” Richard argued. His fingers flexed around the strap of his bag. “This isn’t something that you should have to put up with. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, Jared, you quit your job for me. You moved out of your apartment for me. You and Erlich and Dinesh and Gilfoyle… you’ve all basically given up everything for me. And the only thing I’ve ever done is fuck everything up.” His voice started to tremble. “I’m just tired of being a screw up. This company – this whole fucking valley – it’s just not for me. It’s not who I am. I don’t have what it takes, and I need everyone to stop pretending that I do.”

Jared was finally an arm’s length away from Richard. “I’m not going to tell you that everything has gone perfectly,” he said gently. “It hasn’t. But honestly, Richard, that’s not because of you. You have done incredible things. You’ve made smart choices. None of this is your fault.”

Richard wiped hastily at his eyes. “Then why is everything so shitty?”

“Because sometimes things have to be bad before they can be good.” Jared took a deep breath. “Before I went to Vassar, I thought I was screwing up all the time too. I couldn’t understand why I kept being put in new homes with people that didn’t like me and thought I was a burden. I thought that there must be something about me that wasn’t good enough. But now…” Jared smiled weakly and gestured around the house. “Now I have the greatest family I could ever have hoped for. And I’m doing a job that I love.” He put a hand on Richard’s shoulder. “And I’m doing it with the person that I love. And there’s no way that I’m ever going to let that go.”

Richard was trembling. His eyes met Jared’s, blue and shining and turning red around the edges. “You really mean it, don’t you?” Richard whispered. “You really love me.”

“I really do. You… You mean the world to me. So don’t imagine for a second that I would ever let you fail.” Jared forced a small smile. “Or that I would ever let you give up and go.” Steadily, he pulled Richard towards his bedroom. “Please put the bag down, Richard.”

Richard obeyed. Snuffling and shaking, he allowed Jared to steer him into the loft bed. He put an arm around Jared’s waist. “You can’t leave either, you know,” he mumbled, and Jared just laughed. The idea of him leaving was even more absurd than letting Richard quietly slip away.

Jared didn’t ask where Richard was going or what was in the bag, and Richard never said. And really, in Jared’s eyes, it didn’t matter. He hadn’t left. He had stayed right in the hostel, in Jared’s arms, where he belonged. And really, at least for the moment, that was enough for them both.


End file.
